So many of you have written to ask for my assistance in solving your most personal problems, and I am pleased and proud to have the opportunity, now, to bring you the benefit of my wisdom. To the young ladies I see struggling, as if lost in the dark, unable to find the proper road I say, let me be your guiding light, let me point you the way, let me lead you home. My advice begins on April 24; until then, I implore you to avoid any rash decisions.
Your humble servant,
Mrs. T. Pennyroyal